I should have done this a long time ago but frankly, I didn’t want to
GRUEL has existed somewhat anonymously up until this point, making it one of my safest, healthiest internet outlets both online and off, (nearly) free from the breath-stopping, heart-racing anxiety I experience in other pockets
the vagueness of the platform was intentional; the vagueness of my identity was a byproduct. if you know me irl or have basic internet sleuthing abilities, you know who I am, but many still don’t know the face behind the brand
maybe that’s why I feel I can be so candid. or maybe it’s because I started blogging about my mental neuroses before my frontal lobe developed. in either case, it’s served me, to a point
but I’ve recently felt drawn to pull back the curtain (a little) because
a) I realise you may be confused with who/what the hell GRUEL actually is
b) despite calls for transparency, the food industry (and media in particular) is very guarded and I don’t feel the need to reinforce that
c) I’ve always felt conflicted about identity in general, really, but particularly hiding or revealing different sides of myself within different environments1 and
d) when something happens in the industry that matters to me, I want to be free to talk about it – not as some weird figment of GRUEL but as myself
outside of this platform, I am a food writer for various outlets and I dabble in marketing/pr/communications for hospitality businesses –
a bundle of roles that feel like an impossible string to unravel. even trying to unpack it for this article has led me down a rabbit hole (of industry critique, mostly) that doesn’t feel quite right for a light-hearted “about me” post but will be adressed in a future one
it goes without saying that my views do not reflect those of the publications I write/have written for and my values don’t always align with theirs, but I see value in providing creators with platforms even if the platforms are flawed
hence me starting this one as a way to
a) draw on all the things I do love about food and dining and hospitality and media while leaving the rest
b) work with people who are underrepresented or want to do things they cannot in other hospitality settings
c) cross over into other disciplines like nightlife and art and music and subculture that don’t always have a space in more formal food spaces (and vice versa) and
d) speak to people who may not consider themselves food people or think that they fit into trad hospo circles
transparently, last year left me wondering what the hell is the point of hosting events or writing about food when the so much of it feels like fluff and there are so many bigger issues to prioritise…
and I’m grappling with burnout and the ceiling is only so high and my inner dialogue reasons the market is saturated and everyone else is doing it better
but despite my misgivings I fucking love food which is why I fucking love GRUEL – a chance to connect with others who also love food and dining and community and culture – even (or especially) when those things feel vulnerable or intimidating
the vulnerability of food and dining and connecting is a whole post in itself that I’ll also leave for another time, but here’s to embracing that in 2025 // I do want to give you all some credit there as I’m constantly impressed by your willingness to share food with strangers and to show up to events solo as many of you do. mad respect
am I beating around the bush to avoid revealing my identity? perhaps. so, without further ado, I formally declare that I am…….
besha rodell
just kidding (besha please don’t sue me)
I’m quincy (credit: nana) malesovas (credit: greece). born in us, based in australia circa 2015, adventurous eater by birth (until I got an eating disorder but now I’m back bb) and food writer by trade (somehow [thank you ricky / gumtree]), armed with a minor in writing and a background in blogging and writing for my college paper and a curious appetite and, according to the birthchart souma just read for me, a passion for research and collaboration
if you even care
but don’t let me bore you, let me get to the fun stuff
if you’re wondering how someone w such wack taste / food philo can write about food for a living, remember that people contain multitudes // what you see online is just a fraction of the pic
but it’s a fraction more than you had before so I hope it’s whet your appetite. thanks for eating
wanna return the favour? here’s your own template to divulge your innermost secrets
as a closeted freak (as in, in the closet about being one) with a christian school education, I long lived my life grappling the duality of my shy-girl appearance vs wild-girl persona and subsequently resent any pressure to supress parts of my identity. straight refusal to adapt to your surroundings is antisocial, of course, but if we had less conformity in the world it’d def be a more interesting place – or at the very least, the shoe choices would be