hween is less than 2 weeks away and i think it’s gonna be the best one since that halloween a few years ago that coincided w the release out of lockdown.
but with so much anticipation, how can you possibly narrow down how you’re gonna spend your night? the two most obvious choices are trick or treat (but if you’re reading this you’re hopefully too old) or pass candy out to trick or treaters (which everyone knows is just an excuse to eat the candy yourself and kinda a cop out for doing something more exciting tbh).
instead, pick a suggestion from my hat of tricks or whatever.
🎃 carve a turnip/beetroot
american-sized carving pumpkins are hard to come by here and when they rot (which they inevitably will) they make a big mess and smell. but turnips/beetroot are easy to find and much more manageable. apparently back in the day pre-us colonisation, the scotts carved big turnips, evidence below. meanwhile, the english carved beets and decided to call them mangelwurzels, of all things. that one sounds like a way to stain your shirt but if you do it, plz send pics.
🎃 make witch hat pasta
I watched this on mute so idk if you’re meant to remove the googly eyes or not but I did get a history lesson via the caption:
Fun fact! Did you know the word “witch” comes from the Old English wicce, meaning “wise woman.” In fact, wiccan were highly respected people at one time. According to popular belief, witches held one of their two main meetings, on Halloween night.
someone in the comments said “curious what these look like after cooking”. i’m curious too.
🎃 get a PSL
I tried to do this one last year. after deciding on the best starbucks (the swanston st one across from town hall), fuelled by nostalgia and a healthy economy, i willingly paid $7 for a soy PSL with the new (at that time) vegan rice whip.
then i took it down the street for a walk along the river (fake fall things) and as i was descending the stairs behind fed square, talking animatedly with my hands, i tripped and send my PSL flying into the air and splashing all over the ground. i also scraped by palms raw and some ppl walking by saw it all.
matt said if i went back to the store and told them what happened they’d prob feel bad for me and make me a new one. but i was too embarrassed and didn’t wanna walk all the way back so i went to the small sbux across from flinders to, again, pay $7 for the same drink. it was really disappointing and I was very sad. don’t go to that location.
🎃 eat candy
i know i said this is a cop out but context is: not just any candy. you’re an adult now and dental care’s expensive and you just had a PSL so swap the sugar for some “healthy” alts like these:
instead of reese’s cups (the most popular halloween candy, allegedly) have quest protein pb cups - remember when girls with eating disorders used to do fucked things with quest bars like cook them in the oven? the brand’s come a long way since then and these may be one of their best moves yet
instead of peach rings have funday sour peach hearts - don’t be fooled, they are def not as good as peach rings which are (i think) also superior to standard peach hearts but in the absence of either, these will do
instead of ??? have plant protein musk stix - wtf is musk, i’m so confused by this flavour. to me musk is synonymous w body odour but if it’s your thing you get a 2 for 1 w these, yummy musk + vegan gains
instead of white choc raspberry bullets have noshu white choc raspberry bites - my grandma’s obsessed w these (og bullets) and requests I bring some to her every time I visit but they’re getting harder & harder to find, is it because young ppl don’t eat them? might have to resort to noshu for her, too
🎃 watch nightmare before christmas
is it a halloween movie or a christmas movie?? no one knows so i watch it twice a year. used to more until a girl in 6th grade made fun of my jack skellington hoodie. the best part is (spoiler alert) when sally pretends to drink the poison she’s feeding dr finkelstein with a slotted spoon swap and the second best part is when jack crushes mistletoe berries under a microscope, so it’s also sort of a food movie.
🎃 go to the milney’s halloween thing
everyone cool is gonna be there, haven’t you seen the event poster? see you there, say hi so I feel like I have a friend group – that’s your treat to me (;
once you’ve got the year’s biggest holiday out of the way, come to our birthday party. there’s gonna be cake and giveaways and music, etc. tix here