The great dark chocolate ice cream showdown
featuring our first ever guest contributor
socially speaking, ice cream and gelato and sorbet and what have you are summer treats – the ultimate cool-down on a hot day; the best way to keep the night going when it’s 9pm and still light out and you don’t feel like doing drugs
but statistically, a significant proportion of the population are winter ice cream people who risk frost-bitten fingers to truly savour their cones (which, at this time of year in melbourne, can last approx an hour before melting, according to this calculator) and who know cold foods can actually raise internal body temperature
if you’re in that camp, we’ve got a sweet treat for you – our first-ever guest contribution (of more to come) by local music legend and guerilla food reviewer, Liv
Liv is a musician and writer based in Naarm/Melbourne. she creates art-pop as ROMÆO, writes about pop culture and philosophy on her substack, and organises various community-centric arts events
she has v strong opinions about ice cream and gelato and sorbet and what have you, and has done the legwork to compare the top contenders. you’re welcome
“Do you want to get ice cream?”
It’s an offer I’ve rarely (if ever) refused.
Before a gig, after a gig, on a Hinge date. An obligatory choc top at the cinema, a way to extend dinner with friends. Leaning into the childlike nature of it all, there is something so innocently sweet about the ritual of ice cream – to line up, to taste, to compare. To lick, to spoon, to drip over your fingertips and onto your skirt.
But, as all ice cream lovers know, distinctions must be made.
What ice cream is worth writing home about?
After vaguely keeping score in my mind, I’ve embarked on a definitive ranking.
While not a flavour I would inherently reach towards, dark chocolate proved itself to be the constant I needed for this test – it’s a classic that most stores offer and allows just enough room for deviation. Whether or not it's vegan, dark chocolate is the ultimate testing ground for nailing creamy deliciousness. There were three key factors I took into consideration:
* Price
* Scoop size
* Chocolate flavour
Lining up for Luther’s ice cream is a quintessential inner-north Melbourne experience. And one I’ve often enjoyed. I have fond memories of the first time a (generous) scoop of Earl Grey Chocolate blew me away, devouring the Nectarine Orange Blossom sorbet special during Brunswick Music Festival last year, returning frequently with my Vegan-Apple-Crumble-obsessed summer boyfriend.
For $6.56 a scoop, Luther’s sits in the upper-middle price point range of this test. While I’ve enjoyed the vegan dark chocolate sorbet in the past, I am disappointed to say that on this day, Luther’s let me down. Hard. It tasted totally different. The chocolate flavour was weak, lacking in richness and depth – it wasn’t as dark as it looks. There was also a definitively strange taste I couldn’t pinpoint. Neither of us would order it again. 2.5/5.
Queuing at the Lygon street Pidapipo is an unfavourable position to be in; it somehow always feels dirty and chaotic. Moreover, for $7.20 a scoop, I really want to be wowed. The vegan dark chocolate sorbet was satisfyingly dense: rich without being overwhelmingly so. If I, for some reason, opted for Pidapipo again, the dark choc would entice me. 4/5.
Forgot a photo, sue me.
As a High Street supremacist, I am always trying to prove the culinary and auditory delights Northcote has to offer. Bianco Latte is a random spot, and can randomly be good. The pistachio fresh-filled cannoli is one of my favourite local treats, and the straciatella gelato goes hard. However, dark chocolate sorbet was not dark at all – it tasted like standard Lindt milk chocolate, and that’s being generous. The scoop size was decent but the gelato was pretty soft, it hadn’t been kept super cold, and it wasn’t even that hot a day. $6.20 and a 3/5.
Proudly posited as Australia’s longest-standing ice-cream boutique (having opened in 1980), Casa del Gelato offers over 60 100% homemade flavours. They have an amazing selection of gelati that can be impossible to find elsewhere – if you know where else offers casata gelato, hmu. Unfortunately, I had to wane my loyalty as their prices continued to rise. Returning for the taste test was bittersweet – I was excited to visit my favourite ice cream outlet and pre-empting my frustration at being priced out. But, as fate would have it, I needn’t be so concerned. Casa del Gelato offers a $6 ‘kids scoop’ that is outrageously large (bigger than a standard single scoop at any other store tested). The gelato was thick and had a perfect chocolate-y flavour. This is the image in my mind when desiring a scoop of dark chocolate. Nothing more to be desired, 5/5.
Something about this place cringes me out. The name, branding, trademark yellow and store format has never hit for me. However, the one time I had been here previously, I was pleasantly surprised by the fresh kiwi sorbet (it was a special, don’t go looking). They didn’t offer dark chocolate so I just got the standard chocolate ice cream. It had an unremarkable milo flavour. Inoffensive but not notable, I wouldn’t bother returning. 3.5/5.
In the battle of the p’s in the gelato business, Piccolina has typically won my affections, despite my Smith Street aversion. While I wouldn’t categorise it as dark chocolate, the ice cream was creamy and delicious, and I’d probably pay $7.20 for it again. 4/5.
Ah Messina, we meet again. I remember when it first opened in Sydney. Make-ice-cream-cool-again seemed to be their motto: loud house music, cool lighting, experimental but safe flavours. Over the years, I’ve fallen in and out of favour with miss M. She can be too sweet, or offer specials with way too many textures going on (sponge, nut, coulis, biscuit). Relax babes, do less. However, a huge tick for Messina is the $5.5 tiny scoop, which is honestly still really decently sized. But that was about the only positive from this experience. The dark chocolate gelato had an awful toxic taste. When we told the staff and asked them to try it, they said “it always tastes like that.” I – was shook. I don’t know what was going on that day but it was genuinely inedible. 0/5.
New kid on the block, Glo Gelato has a staggering 5 stars on Google. Coming in at $7.30 a scoop, this was the most expensive joint on the list and… it is understandable. The dark chocolate was super creamy with an excellent dark cocoa flavour. It’s cold and refreshing while still being satisfying and creamy. Would definitely get this one again, 4.5/5.
*views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not (necessarily) reflect the opinions and values of GRUEL, thoughhhh we do agree casa del gelato is the best around bb